…even if you have a roof over your head?

The worst feeling in the world is seeing a loved one suffer for months on end then tell you they want to give up

and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I watched’ Piers Morgan Tonight’ and Rosie O’Donnell was the guest for the evening.  I did not expect for her to put into words something that I couldn’t for years.  And let me tell you, it’s exactly how she describes it:

Rosie’s mother died of cancer when she was 10 years old and was buried on her 11th birthday.

Piers: “What do you think she would have made of how you have grown up?”

Rosie: “I don’t know. You know, I often think that my life would be totally different had she not died, but I don’t know in what way.  You know, when someone dies you tend to sanctify them and they become in your memory almost like a movie and I think if she were alive today we’d be great friends and we’d be going out together to events, or you know,but I don’t know because many of my friends have turbulent relationships with their parents, most of us, right?  But when a parent is gone for whatever reason you can make up something in your head about her.”

Dear Dad,

I miss you.  I don’t know why or how, I barely knew you.  Maybe I miss the idea of you, what I think it would be like.  Or maybe I miss the chance that passed and is gone forever.  Or it’s because I think I’m supposed to.  No, it’s not because I’m supposed to, I genuinely do.

I know now that it wasn’t my fault.  There was nothing I could say or do to change anything that happened.  I don’t how things would have been if we had been together.  For years I’ve dreamt up a scenario where we would meet after all that time and I wondered how I would feel.  Would it be awkward?  Would it be like we never left?  Would you try to make things right?  I’ve thought of a thousand things to ask you and I know there are a thousand more I haven’t thought of. 

Sam is hurting more than I am, and I don’t know how to help her.  I know she thinks the same, that we could have done something, saved you somehow, and instead feels we failed.  “Isn’t that what a child’s love does?  Isn’t it good enough?  Were we good enough?  Must not have been, you’re gone.”

Gone.  Forever.  For good.  You only exist now through fuzzy memories and one Polaroid photo and sometimes, when we’re brave enough, through short conversations.  And I can’t change anything that happened and it sucks. 

(Source: fuckyeahjohnnykaley)

noshirtnoshoesnosheldon:

Tap on my window, knock on my door, I want to make you feel beautiful. I know I tend to get so insecure, doesn’t matter anymore. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise, it moves us along. My heart is full and my door’s always open, you can come anytime you want. I don’t mind spending every day, out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay a while, and she will be loved. 

She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5. 

(Source: fuckyeah-centralperk)

(Source: leilockheart)

15 moves, 10 towns, 4 states…

…I’ve moved a lot in my 25 years on this rock.  Whenever I’m in a place too long I feel the need to move again.  I feel like I HAVE to move at the end of every lease.  But it doesn’t bother me - none of these places really feel like home, just another room, another place to sleep.  That’s all they are, a series of rooms.  I’ve been through many and I’ll go through many more. 

I feel like I haven’t had a home for a long time. 

But I got to thinking - they say “Home is where your heart is.”  My heart doesn’t belong to a place, to a big apartment or a house with a yard.  It’s not with any state or the towns within them.  It’s with my sisters and my mom and all the friends I’ve made in those towns.  My heart is with the people I love.  And I know that sounds corny and sappy, but where I live, the scenery, it’s going to change and when it does all those friends, my mom and my sisters will always be there.  They’re the only consistency in my life.  So for now, home is in my family. 

If you ever feel alone go here - www.postsecret.com

You’re not as alone as you think.